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World Champion Dick Trophy

$9.15

Let the d-bag in your life know what a total a-hole they are by awarding them this world champion dick trophy. This girthy triumphant bastard comes with a patriotic red, white, and blue ribbon around it and sits on a stand decorated with a “world champion” plaque.

Loop High Fidelity Donut Earplugs

$29.95

Protect your eardrums with utmost style and comfort using the Loop high fidelity donut earplugs. They feature an ergonomic shape that sits perfectly in your ear to block out excess noise so that you can clearly hear music and speech at lower levels.

Lightcycle Adjustable Smart Lamp

$599.99

This daylight simulating adjustable smart lamp from Dyson is the ultra versatile lighting fixture that can adapt to a multitude of activities. Whether you need to work or just want to relax, you’ll be able to set it to 1 of 3 lighting modes plus customize the warmth and intensity.

Inflatable Speed Boat

$519.98

Become the life of the party next time you hit the water by showing up with this inflatable speed boat. This giant inflatable comes with both a front and rear lounging area and is also equipped with sturdy side handles and built-in cup holders so that your drink is always close by.

Toe Of Satan 9 Million Scoville Lollipop

$24.96

Set your insides on fire by giving the Toe of Satan a lick or two. Straight from the seventh circle of hell, this incredibly hot hand-poured lollipop is made with an devilishly hot chili extract that comes in at 9 million units on the Scoville heat scale!

X9R Marauder 25,000 Lumen Flashlight

$600.50

The insanely powerful X9R Marauder 25,000 lumen flashlight will turn the dead of night into high noon. Capable of lighting up to 689 yards, it comes with 8 brightness settings and a rechargeable battery that can power the flashlight for up to 27 hours.

Emergency Breathing System

$39.99

Increase your chances of survival during a home fire by having this emergency breathing system at your side. This life saving device is designed to prevent smoke inhalation by filtering out chemical substances and removing carbon monoxide for up to five minutes.

Bottle Cap Gun

$4.02

Don’t throw out those bottle caps, because now you can recycle them into precious ammo! With a capacity for shooting bottle caps over 16 feet with the push of a button, you’ll be able to annoy anyone in the room without having to get up from your seat.

DIY Back/Body Shaver

$39.95

Avoid looking like Bigfoot when you take off your shirt in public by manscaping with this DIY back/body shaver. It features a long handle to tackle those hard-to-reach places and features patented blade cartridges designed to minimize the risk of cutting yourself.

The Oregon Trail Handheld Game

$19.99

Get your fill of adventure – and dysentery – by heading west to start anew with the Oregon Trail handheld game. You’ll learn all about the harsh realities of the 19-century pioneer life when you hit the Oregon Trail with your family and cattle in tow.

Glow In The Dark Beer Pong Set

$25.99

Turn a routine night of binge drinking into an epic alcohol chugging affair by playing with the glow in the dark beer pong set. The cups, balls, and table all feature a blindingly bright neon border that makes them glow for a clever way to play at night.

Fidget Spinner Knife

$34.77

Slicing open your hand has never been easier or more fun than with the stress relieving fidget spinner knife. This 2-in-1 device comes with ceramic bearings that make it spin effortlessly while concealing a small but razor-sharp 3″ Japanese steel blade.