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Images You Should Not Masturbate To

$9.99

Drown out your sexually deviant thoughts in a matter of seconds with the “Images You Shouldn’t Masturbate To” book! Jam packed with eighty pages of boner subsiding pictures, this unusual book is a clean and wholesome way to pass the time.

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Description

Choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, airing the orchid-whatever you call it, none of the images in this book will encourage the gentle art of self-pleasure. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.

The Oregon Trail Handheld Game

$67.99

Get your fill of adventure – and dysentery – by heading west to start anew with the Oregon Trail handheld game. You’ll learn all about the harsh realities of the 19-century pioneer life when you hit the Oregon Trail with your family and cattle in tow.

vintage hot pink lip phone

Vintage Hot Punk Lips Phone

$47.56

Give your room some serious retro vibes by chatting it up using this vintage hot pink lips telephone. This vibrant landline telephone is in mint condition and will make a totally bitchin’ addition for the home of any Millenial or Gen-Xer.

Mini Trash & Recycle Bin Pencil Holders

$18.14

Help raise awareness for the environment by keeping your workspace tidy using these mini trash and recycle bin pencil holders. The amusing design disguises these pencil holders as a miniature version of the trash can and recycle bin we all have at home.

Lawn Zombie Decoration

$94.48

Zombify your lawn and disturb all your pesky neighbors with this lawn zombie decoration. Perfect for Halloween, the decoration will make it look like a hungry zombie is rising from his grave and making his way to the surface world to feast on some delicious braainnssss.

Apollo: VII – XVII Photography Book

$59.43

Feed your mind while also commemorating the 50th anniversary of the moon landing with the Apoll: VII – XVII photography book. The book is packed with tons of trivia as well as rare and historic pictures from the NASA photo records.

The Original Tamagotchi

$49.72

Give your sad solitary life some meaning and joy by pouring your heart and soul into caring for your little Tamagotchi pet. Famed toymaker Bandai has re-released the Original Tamogatchi – only this time they’re half the size of the original!

The World’s Softest Blanket

$29.96

Cozy doesn’t even begin to describe the world’s softest blanket. This ultra luxurious faux fur blanket is available in sizes ranging from a simple throw to a massive queen sized blanket so nice and soft you’ll think you’ve died and gone to heaven.

Unstable Unicorns Card Game

$13.99

Unstable Unicorns is the extremely entertaining card game that will destroy your friendships – but in a good way. This strategic card game combines unicorns and destruction in a race to see who can assemble an army of deadly unicorns to obliterate opposing players.

49 Port USB Hub

$160.00

Charge every single electronic device in your household simultaneously with the 49 port USB hub. Once you plug this hub into your PC, you’ll have ample room to fit and plug in every USB powered device you can get your hands on.

ZipStitch Laceration Kit

$99.00

ZipStitch is the surgical-quality laceration kit that could save your life if you’re ever injured and there’s no hospital in sight. This over-the-counter and easy-to-use kit allows you to conveniently and effectively close up deep cuts without the use of stitches.

Traxxas TRX-4 Sport Kit

$320.95

Why settle for a store-bought R/C car when you can build your very own with this Traxxas TRX-4 sport kit? The kit comes with everything required to build your very own rugged R/C ride – including a transparent body, a chassis, and a detailed step-by-step manual.

D.A.R.E. Neon Fanny Pack

$22.95

Hide your stash in the last place anyone would ever think of looking by placing it inside this retro D.A.R.E. neon fanny pack. This must-have hipster accessory sports the classic D.A.R.E. program that we all betrayed in our adult years.