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How To Traumatize Your Children

$11.00

Make the most out of the precious time you have on this earth with your children by traumatizing them for life with this easy to follow instructional book. It utilizes 7 proven methods that apply to all parenting styles so kids everywhere can be forever scarred.

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Description

Parents of the world rejoice! Knock Knock’s bestselling How to Traumatize Your Children has been revamped with all-new totally dysfunctional illustrations. This groundbreaking instructional volume teaches you how to give your children the lifelong gifts of mental and emotional damage. Whether you employ the same ruinous techniques your parents used or try out an entirely new approach, you are bound to succeed!

vintage hot pink lip phone

Vintage Hot Punk Lips Phone

$47.56

Give your room some serious retro vibes by chatting it up using this vintage hot pink lips telephone. This vibrant landline telephone is in mint condition and will make a totally bitchin’ addition for the home of any Millenial or Gen-Xer.

Beauty And Beast Pillow Cases

$29.95

Embrace the reality of your relationship with these Beauty and The Beast pillow cases. Fitting to her soft and graceful personality, her pillow case comes with a sublimely written ‘Beauty’ moniker to let her ‘Beast’ of a man know which side he belongs on.

Live Content Creation Controller

$125.99

If you’re a streamer, this live content creation controller will be your new best friend. The Elgato Stream Deck comes with 15 LCD keys so that you can easily launch media, trigger self-promotional tweets, adjust audio and much more!

Fifty Shades Of Chicken Cookbook

$11.52

Satisfy your darkest culinary desires by reading about Miss Chicken in the Fifty Shades of Chicken cookbook. Her exploits with a wealthy, sexy and very hungry chef lead her into risque predicaments that’ll leave you feeling all hot, hungry, and bothered.

Monopoly Game: Cheaters Edition

$10.88

Monopoly: Cheaters Edition is the first ever version to encourage and reward you for your dishonest ways. It comes with 15 cheat cards that command players to carry out shady tactics like stealing directly from the bank or moving someone else’s token.

World Champion Dick Trophy

$6.99

Let the d-bag in your life know what a total a-hole they are by awarding them this world champion dick trophy. This girthy triumphant bastard comes with a patriotic red, white, and blue ribbon around it and sits on a stand decorated with a “world champion” plaque.

LEGO Hogwarts Castle

$469.95

Add a little excitement and wonder to your dull muggle world by constructing this LEGO Hogwarts castle. This massive 6000+ piece set features a Great Hall, Defence Against The Dark Arts classroom, along with 27 microfigures that include Harry, Ron, and Hermoine.

venom helmet mask 3d

Venom Helmet Mask

$120.00

One-up everyone with a regular silicone mask by topping off your outfit with this amazing Venom helmet mask. This incredibly well-made, detailed, and durable mask will transform you into everyone’s favorite symbiote.

Reverse Peephole Viewer

$42.94

Assess potential threats inside an unknown home by giving it a quick once over using this reverse peephole viewer. By placing it over the peephole you’ll be able to scope out the place so that you know what you’re getting yourself into.

Star Wars Build Your Own Video Game

$17.99

Put your little Star Wars fan in the drivers seat by letting him create his own intergalactic adventure with this Star Wars build your own video game set. They’ll be able to layout, design, and configure their very own story using beloved characters from the series.

Faux Wolf Fur Bedspread

$898.99

Winter is coming – ensure you are warm and toasty when the temperature dips by getting under this faux wolf fur bedspread. This luxurious bedspread is crafted entirely from animal friendly faux fur and is given unique style accents to create a realistic appearance.

hammer handle pocket slingshot pocket shot

Hammer Handle Pocket Slingshot

$99.99

Shoot further and more accurately than ever before by decimating your target with the hammer handle pocket slingshot. The clever design combines the firing speed of the pocket slingshot with the control and precision of a traditional slingshot so you always hit your mark.