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How To Traumatize Your Children

$11.00

Make the most out of the precious time you have on this earth with your children by traumatizing them for life with this easy to follow instructional book. It utilizes 7 proven methods that apply to all parenting styles so kids everywhere can be forever scarred.

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Description

Parents of the world rejoice! Knock Knock’s bestselling How to Traumatize Your Children has been revamped with all-new totally dysfunctional illustrations. This groundbreaking instructional volume teaches you how to give your children the lifelong gifts of mental and emotional damage. Whether you employ the same ruinous techniques your parents used or try out an entirely new approach, you are bound to succeed!

indian healing clay pure essence health

Indian Healing Clay

$14.95

Experience the most powerful facial of your life with this container of Indian Healing Clay. It stands apart from the rest for being the only deep pore cleanser made from 100% natural calcium bentonite clay which helps to draw out impurities from the skin.

A Billion Zimbabwe Dollars

$14.99

You can finally achieve your dreams of becoming a billionaire by trading in your worthless greenbacks for these invaluable Zimbabwe billion dollar bills. You’ll be able to purchase discontinued currency in either 1, 5, 10, 20, and 50 billion dollar denominations.

The Floor Is Lava Floor/Wall Decal

$9.99

THE FLOOR IS LAVA! Maintain a lively atmosphere at home by keeping everyone on their toes with this floor is lava floor/wall decal. This incredible 3D decal turns a simple trip down the hallway into a heart-pumping experience that surely put your agility to the test.

Pet Spider Costume

$24.99

Transform your cute pet into an adorable arachnid by getting them into the Halloween spirit with this pet spider costume. Designed for small pets weighing up to 15 pounds, this wacky getup features eight furry legs that you can position any way that you want.

Smart Light Switch Attachment

$49.99

Now you can use your smartphone to control your home’s lighting by installing this smart light switch attachment. It attaches magnetically to existing light switches, requires no programming, and can be conveniently controlled with the included phone app.

Floating Island Raft

$479.99

Enjoy summer the way it was meant to be when you take the floating island raft out on your next maritime excursion. This luxury float features a sturdy construction made to stand up to Mother Nature and will comfortably accommodate up to six people.

army tank pool float

Army Tank Pool Float

$74.99

Declare an all-out war on dryness by soaking everyone in sight with this army tank pool float. Styled like a pint-size tank, it’s made from ultra-durable vinyl and comes with a working cannon that will shoot a stream of water up to fifty feet away.

personalized homemade dog treats

Personalized Homemade Dog Treats

$13.00

Keep Spot happy and healthy with a steady supply of these personalized homemade dog treats. These canine delights are made with natural and wholesome ingredients and can be ordered in a range of yummy flavors.

Inflatable Fishing Boat

$209.30

Execute an impromptu fishing trip whenever the mood strikes with the inflatable fishing boat. Featuring a padded seat, adjustable backrest, and bottle holders – you can fish in utter comfort without having to spends thousands on an expensive boat.

Muppet Head Motorcyle Helmet Cover

$34.99

Look like the ragtag and badass leader of a Muppet bike gang by outfitting your helmet with this hilarious Muppet head cover. This furry and whimsical helmet cover simply slips over your helmet and is available in a variety of wacky Muppet styles.

roadie the suv window tent

SUV Camping Window Tent

$44.97

This SUV camping window tent will transform your ride into your rolling home-away-from-home fort the night. It features a universal fit and conveniently installs by stretching around the door’s perimeter without the use of any tools.

The Toilet Timer

$14.99

The Toilet Timer is for poo-crastinators. Born on Kickstarter, this is a unique sand timer that runs for just about five minutes. Help your loved one do their business and get back to the people they are trying to avoid.